Making place between 1st and 7th February 2021, Children’s Mental Health Week this year has a theme of ‘Express Yourself’. With the video message from the Duchess of Cambridge kicking the week off, the messages and activities around children’s mental health have never been more needed.
Children’s and young people’s mental health is always been important but like adults, the lockdown has had an effect on children in terms of their physical and mental health, as well as their education and socialising skills. Many parents and carers are worried regarding the long term effects of lockdown on their children’s mental health. So how can you nurture your children’s mental health during these difficult times?
LISTEN
Children and young people don’t always express anxiety, worry and concerns in the same way that adults too. Young children may not have the words to label or describe how they are feeling.
Without intending too, as adults, we can minimise these feelings too. A child that is struggling to get to sleep or develops a fear of the dark may have this issue dismissed as a ‘phase’ that they are going through. Messages like ‘all children go through it’ can be dismissive.
Learn to listen and to hear what your children are telling you. Are they telling you that they are not sleeping well or is there something else that they want to share?
ENCOURAGE DIFFERENT MEANS OF EXPRESSION
Words are important but they are not the only vehicles for expressing ourselves.
Children’s Mental Health Week is full of ideas for how to encourage children to tease out their feelings. There are plenty of ideas that work as great activities during lockdown:
- Acting out. Write a script for a short play and use your dressing up box to good effect for costumes. You can record the performance and send the video to grandparents or other important people that your children may be missing at the moment.
- Get techy. There is so much easy-to-access tech these days that making your own short film is now a possibility with nothing more than a mobile phone.
- Get outside. Playing outside is important but isn’t a possibility for every child especially those in flats where outside space is limited. But spending time outdoors is still possible, even with lockdown restrictions, so a daily walk and play in the park are important. You could opt for a game of football or a fun game of catch, for example, if there is no useable play equipment nearby. Remember to follow the latest lockdown rules for your area to make sure you are all safe.
DISCUSS ANXIETIES, WORRIES AND FEARS OVER LOCKDOWN AND LIFE AFTER LOCKDOWN
Just like adults, children will have questions and concerns about the current situation. Hiding from these difficult conversations can exacerbate the fears children have. But how do you answer those awkward questions?
- Be open. They will see and hear snippets of news as well as wonder why they are not in school. They may also wonder why granny isn’t calling round and so on. Be open about what it is all about and that for them and you to stay away from the virus, you need to stay home. And other people are doing the same.
- Bite-sized chunks. Too much information all at once is overwhelming. Keep the conversation positive so that your children know you are in control of what is happening to them and your family as a whole. This doesn’t mean switching off the news or staying off social media but monitoring when and how they are accessing information.
- Worry is normal. We want to shield, protect and nurture our children so much that we think children shouldn’t worry or be anxious. This isn’t reality. We need to understand that children will worry about things during this time. What may surprise you is what they worry about. It could be fears over grandparents forgetting who they are or not being able to go back to school. They could even worry who is feeding the ducks in the park! Listen to these worries, don’t minimise them but reassure them that everyone and everything will get through this.
- Reassure, reassure, reassure. Be positive but be clear about what is going on. When they go back to school, for example, things might be a bit different but if they are unsure about anything, encourage them to ask someone.
- Empower them. When children understand why they need to wash their hands well, get enough rest and eat well, they become part of the solution to the crisis we are in. Praise them when they follow these important rules because when they do (and others do too), we can get back to some kind of ‘normality’ sooner.
- Kindness. Being kind starts with how we treat other people. Staying home is a great example. By doing so, we are being kind to the NHS staff who are working so hard to care for very ill people.
CHILDREN’S MENTAL HEALTH DURING LOCKDOWN – STRUCTURE THE DAY
For many children, the sudden loss of structure and routine that their school day gives them is the change they find most difficult to handle.
- Keep the Monday to Friday routine. In other words, get up and get on with the day, leaving the weekends for relaxation and movie time!
- Have quiet time – there is nothing wrong with having quiet, reflective time. Encourage your children to practice relaxing with a book or sketching in a notebook.
- Do schoolwork, but don’t pressurise your children or yourself. Homeschooling is not a walk in the park, so to speak, so do what you can, when you can.
- Get creative – when the rain is falling and everything feels difficult, reach for paper, pencils or paint and get creative. There are loads of ideas online for creative art sessions! If you don’t have physical craft equipment to hand, why not get them colouring digitally with a magic pad or colouring stylus?
- Read aloud – reading to your children is a soothing and enjoyable activity. Audiobooks can be great for transporting children to make-believe worlds. Let them cuddle up with their favourite cuddly toy for a bedtime story. They may be more likely to snuggle off to sleep thinking of wonderful, magical things.
- Board games and jigsaws – they may have fallen out of fashion when tech came along but board games and jigsaws are enjoying a resurgence in lockdown. Make these into family events for a little extra fun!
Everyone’s mental health ebbs and flows as life’s challenges and opportunities come along. Encouraging children to share their feelings but also to express them through creativity and other means of expression are useful tools that could help them not just now, but throughout life.
If you have any concerns about your children’s mental health, please contact your GP for further help and advice.
Photo by Dragos Gontariu on Unsplash